A song by jsm
hi, my name is...what? my name is...who? my name is...Bruce Perens hi, my name is
huh? my name is...what? my name is...Bruce Perens
Excuse me
Can I have the attention of the class for one second
hi kids, do you like Slashdot and the Beanies?(yeah yeah yeah)
wanna see me stick ASCII birds on the end of my penis? (uh huh)
wanna copy me and do exactly like i did? (yeah yeah)
try 'sid=k22320inchfan and get fucked up worse than my site is?
MySQL's dead weight, it crashes more often than rail freight
but i cant figure out which one out of Taco and Hemos i wanna imitate (umm)
and RMS said (Bruce Perens you a freebaser)
uh uh (then what's wit' that fucken beard, man you never heard of a razor)
well since age two i felt like i'm someone new
'cuz i hung my original GNU from the top of the Slashdot Cruiser
got told off and ripped the Slash code off
and made myself technocrat net so the world can hear me blow my load off
i'll smoke a fat pound of grass and talk out my ass
and delete any l33t troll who never got modded down fast
come here slut (Perens wait a minute that's my girl, dog)
i dont give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off
hi, my name is...
what? my name is...who? my name is...Bruce Perens hi, my name is huh? my name is...
what? my name is...Bruce Perens
my stockbroker wanted me to make a quick killin'
thanx a lot, now I'm sittin on a pot of VA Linux stock that used to be worth a million
so i smacked him in his face with a hammer, slammed his balls in a scanner
and beat him so badly he's fucked up like Taco's grammer
walked in Slashdot, had my jacket fastened up
flamed my impersonator and stuck my dick in a plastic cup
extra-terrestrial, runnin' over pedestrians, in a green SUV
while they screamin (shit that's the Cruiser!)
ninety-nine percent of my life i was trolled to
i just found out Eric Raymond does more dope than i do (damn)
i told her i'd grow up to be a famous slashbot
become quite rich when the ipo dust has settled and spend it all on crack rocks.
you know you blew up when the geeks rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin anime fans
this guy at the Geek Compound asked me for my autograph (dude, can I get your autograph?)
so i signed it 'Dear Emmett, Thanks for the support, craphound.
'hi, my name is...
what? my name is...who? my name is...Bruce Perens
hi, my name is huh? my name is...
what, my name is...Bruce Perens
stop the backup tape, this kid needs to be locked away (get him)
Linus, don't just stand there, get the MPAA!
i'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
i'd rather be carried inside a Slashdot Cruiser and buried alive
am i comin or goin? i can barely decide
i just smoked a bunch of Drano crystal, dare me to drive? (go ahead)
all my life i was very boring
i ain't had a woman in years, my wrists ache from Karma whoring
clothes rip like the Sultan of Swat
i spit when i talk, my name ends in a dot (no it doesn't)
when i was little i used to masturbate quite an amount
(how you gonna keep on posting mom I bitchslapped your account!)
I lie awake and night and think "Is my asshole bigger than the guy in that goatsex link?"
and shoot myself in the ass till its pink (bang) till i'm sick
and by the way when you see Fascdot, tell him that i slit his PRick
hi, my name is...what? my name is...who? my name is...Bruce Perens hi, my name is
huh? my name is...what, my name is...Bruce Perens
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